In Western culture, there is an overwhelming focus on what we do with our lives. But it's not just about our actions; it's also about how others perceive these actions. Historically, and even more so today, there's a fixation on the visible outcomes of our endeavors. This preoccupation has been magnified by social media, creating a scenario where many are more concerned with appearing a certain way to others, regardless of the reality behind the façade.
One must ponder why our culture places such importance on others' perceptions of our actions, often valuing these perceptions more than the actions themselves or, more importantly, the reasons behind them. The book “The Courage To Be Disliked” poses a thought-provoking question: if you were to pick up trash daily, unnoticed and unthanked, would you continue? This inquiry probes the core of our motivations. Do we act because we believe in the righteousness of our actions, or are we seeking external validation and praise? Would we still choose integrity if we knew our actions would remain unseen?
This brings us to a deeper question about the essence of goodness. Can we truly consider ourselves good if our actions are performed solely under the watchful eyes of others? And if we are willing to stray from our principles when unnoticed, what does that reveal about our true character?
Are we really good people if we are only doing good when others know that we are doing good? Are we really good people if we are willing to do wrong when people are not looking? Who are we really as a culture? I remember realizing that I was not as good of a guy as I thought I was. I was transactional in my goodness. If it served me to be good I was all about it but if people did not respond the way I wanted them to or did not pay attention to my good deeds I grew frustrated with the fact that I was doing the right thing but was not getting what I wanted out of it. I couldn’t help but think it would be a better life to not carry the responsibility if people were not going to congratulate me for being such a good person.
There was nothing good about me. I was rotten to the core. I was not interested in doing good because I believed in good, I was interested in doing good because I thought others were going to congratulate me and I would get more of what I wanted for being good. There have been times I have asked people questions about their lives and the reason for asking the exact same question to different people in distinct situations was completely different. For some I wanted them to hurt the way that I had, for others I was genuinely interested in them and wanted to learn more. In both cases what I did was the same but why I did it was not and this brings me to the point of this thought.
Perhaps the reasons behind our actions hold more significance than the actions themselves. True awareness awakens us to a state where causing harm to others becomes unthinkable. We no longer seek revenge or inflict pain, as these impulses arise from a state of unconsciousness, where we project our distorted views onto others. In a state of heightened awareness, our motives are rooted in unconditional love. We create limitations when we lose sight of the grander perspective that life offers.
As you navigate your journey, ask yourself what kind of life will you gift your time. And when you find that answer make sure to ask the even more important question, why? The answers to these questions will illuminate a path toward a life not driven by external applause but by the fulfillment that comes from aligning actions with profound, authentic intentions. Remember, it's not just what you do that matters, but why you do it. This understanding is key to living a purposeful, meaningful life.
