Suffering, an elusive and deeply personal experience, often evades definition. While pain is subjective, as evidenced by the question from doctors about pain on a scale from one to ten, suffering shares this trait. No two individuals experience suffering identically, even under seemingly identical circumstances. It's not uncommon for people to endure suffering in silence, presenting a facade of contentment until it becomes unbearable.
This phenomenon leads me to a perspective some may find controversial: Pain and suffering are inherently subjective because, at their core, they are a choice. My belief might seem counterintuitive. Often, it doesn't feel like a choice, and perhaps the decision on how we experience pain and suffering was made long before we understood its implications.
However, any phenomenon that is entirely subjective must be considered a choice. I stand by this assertion, as my life, as you will soon discover, has been a testament to this philosophy. For a long time, I suffered in silence. Outwardly, I was the quintessential happy person, always smiling in the company of others. Yet, internally, I was in turmoil, yearning for a different life, burdened by self-disappointment and a lack of self-understanding. My breakthrough came after delving into literature about the ego. I realized that my suffering had become an integral part of my identity. It was the conduit through which I connected with friends and embodied the stereotype of the 'good guy' who always finished last. In my mind, I was a victim.
This realization brought forth an unsettling question: Who would I be without my suffering? How would my relationships evolve if this aspect of my identity changed?Embracing the power of choice transformed everything. My friendships, love life, and most importantly, my relationship with myself, underwent profound changes. Letting go of my suffering was tantamount to shedding an old identity. The hardest part was acknowledging that my suffering was the last remnant of my past. It was a lens through which I viewed myself—a person defined by love and loss, failure and resilience. This suffering, while painful, was integral to my identity as Django. The thought of losing this connection to my past was, in some ways, more daunting than the suffering itself.
However, I recognize that everyone's journey is unique. For some, the role of suffering in life might never end. Yet, for those who resonate with my experience, I pose a fundamental question: What kind of life do you want to gift your time? If your life has been defined by suffering, know that this doesn't have to be a permanent state. Ultimately, the choice is yours. Whether to remain tethered to suffering or to embrace the potential for change is a decision that each of us must make, guided by our individual experiences and perspectives.
